Spotlights

BEAUTY IS HAPPY

Erin Davis & Crystal Flake
Best friends, Erin and Crystal, had a rocky shake to their relationship. You can say that Crystal was the Camille Belle to Erin's Taylor Swift. A semi-stolen crush and miscommunication kept Crystal oblivious to Erin's loathing. It came to a head when Erin was later locked out of her appointment and Crystal offered her a place to stay. The conversation between them lasted until six in the morning when the seed of their friendship was officially planted. Despite future opposition from others and sometimes for themselves, they find in each other the qualities of sisters. Their most obvious similarity is the profound happiness that radiates and bounces off of one another. They discuss the ins and outs of being happy, individually and together.

Q: How does being happy make you feel beautiful?
Crystal: I feel like your smile is your best quality. Everyone has a smile, and a beautiful smile. And if you have a smile that says "life is good!" you radiate that happiness. No matter what, you are beautiful when you smile, so being happy not only makes me feel good because I am happy, but I can see.... Someone came up to me today and said "You are the most contagious, happy person I have ever met." That makes me feel so good because that means that I am spreading that to other people, which makes me even more happy.
Erin: I was depressed for a long time and I got sick for 8 months of my high school. So I got down on myself, but I was still trying to go to school and be happy and at one point my sickness got so bad that my mom was talking to my teachers and they said "we had no idea! She was so happy!". I felt that I had to get up and get ready because I could get up and put on that smile. I also had a friend who was sick at the same time as me and she told me that my smile would always make her day better. So being happy makes me feel so good that I can share it with other people. I feel like I glow when I am walking and I can share that with others.

Q: What do you do to keep yourself happy, even when you're being weighed down by trials?
Erin: The routine of getting up, getting ready in the morning.... I always feel better when I take a nice shower, blow dry my hair, do myself up a little bit, because then I don't feel gross. I feel like I can go out and I feel like people will still look at me and I can still turn heads. I was taught a lesson once about putting drops into your bucket. This has helped me a lot. Going through the day, thinking about the good things, and adding drops to your bucket makes your bucket so full. You can also help others fill their buckets, too.
Crystal: I was raised to be an optimist, like in everything. My dad was a big influence on me because he went through a lot growing up. They weren't wealthy, they were really poor. He taught us to find something good in everything bad that happens to you. So, when I'd fail a test, it's like "Well, at least you got one of them right". If I would lose a soccer game, he would say "Yeah, but you assisted a goal! You still did something good! There's always something good." Something that makes it easy to be happy is when I would wake up and be miserable and I would think "well, at least I am awake!". I just feel so blessed. I am healthy. I am strong. Sometimes things are going wrong, but my family is alive and healthy. I consider myself really blessed.

Q: What about when you are sad, depressed, angry and feeling wronged? What attitudes and thoughts do you circulate in your head to help you know that you aren't going to stay there?
Crystal: It's really hard for me to get angry. I rarely get angry. It's hard for me to get sad. Erin is the one that taught me that getting sad is ok. To experience great happiness, you have to experience that great sadness. So finally, I let myself be sad but I would give myself enough time to let all that get out and vent about it and to cry about it. But in the end I would think, yes I am sad, but I am so blessed.
Erin: One of the things that circulates in my head when I am mad or thinking that someone's wronged me is that we all make mistakes. We are all in this huge test of life and we don't know the potential that others have. I don't know who they are going to be. They are probably going to regret the decision that they make, but that's not up to me to make them regret that. I try to make things ok, and I try not to talk about it. That's hard, and obviously I talk to it to Crystal and my parents, but I try not to talk about it to others because it can just hurt us more if we don't let it go.

Q: How do you feed off of each others' happiness?
Crystal: We are just weird. Really weird. Our jokes bounce off of each other. We know what each other is feeling. I can look at her and bust up laughing. We are so on the same page. It is crazy to think Erin didn't like me in the beginning. Our favorite thing is seeing each other be happy.
Erin: I think a huge point is being real with each other because when we are we can be happy, but if something hurts we can sit down and determine what we need to do to be happy. One of the things from when I was depressed, Crystal said, "We're gonna come up with a happy plan. When you aren't feeling good, we are going to be together." Being together and Crystal being the extreme optimist that she is would always point out the little happy things, which got me in the habit of finding little happy things myself. I think now, we can both just be ecstatic for each other. We realize that life is hard, but we are helping each other out.
Crystal: No matter what, we have each others' backs.

Q: What advice would you give to people who are trying to be happy? what would you tell them about what they can be doing?
Erin: When you're happy, you get a beautiful countenance about you. The little things everyday. My life is hard sometimes, but I am still finding the little drops, and the little points that are good in my life. I still look for the little flowers on the side of the road or still determine to be happy. It makes such a difference when you see how much good is working in your life and not just focusing on the negative. Also, serving and focusing on others is a huge part of making you happy. At that point you are becoming selfless. Going out of my way to make Crystal happy makes me so much happier. It makes me feel so good that I can change someone else, too.
Crystal: No matter your body type, no matter who you are, where you come from, what your background or ethnicity is, no matter what, being happy gives you that beautiful countenance. You are designed to be beautiful, to be amazing. By being happy, it radiates light and that is the most beautiful thing. You gain that beauty and friends, happiness. Life is good when you're happy. Find the little flowers. I love picking flowers. I feel like they are my little pieces of happy and I love to give people flowers. That is my way of giving others some source of happiness. It's ok to be happy. It makes you beautiful on the inside and the outside.

BEAUTY IS LOVING YOURSELF

Rebekah Ruth Guy
Age: 20

Rebekah recently returned from her church mission in Tacloban, Philippines after surviving the November 2013 typhoon that shook the country. She, along with several other young women, narrowly escaped rising flood waters in their apartment by one of the women punching a hole in the wall and huddling together on the roof for hours before the storm slightly let up. We had the opportunity to interview her about how her experiences in her big family (she is the 9th of 15 kids) and her survival in the Philippines shaped how she views loving herself.

Q: Being from a large family, what value did you find in loving yourself?
A: Especially in overcoming the criticism of family members and myself, I had to develop my own identity. It is like acquainting yourself with who you are and what you're about. You almost have to build a relationship with yourself, the way you build one with others. At the end of the day, I had to be put in situations to learn about and be patient with myself. That's when you learn how you'll react - what you're made of - and then what you can improve on from there. It's self-worth and mastery. It's about minimizing the flaws and maximizing the successes.

Q: What importance did the concept of loving yourself gain after your experience in the Philippines?
A: You are never capable of loving other people more than you love yourself. That understanding has made me want to love myself more in order to show that love to others. You can't rely on others for your self worth. That just sets you up for failure.

Q: How do you show that you love yourself?
A: Honestly, it is a process that I am still learning, and will continue to learn. One of the things that I am finding is best for myself is to give myself time. I like washing dishes because it gives me time to ponder, relax and just spend time with myself.

Q: How does loving yourself make you feel beautiful?
A: Anyone that you get to know and like is automatically more attractive to you. The same principle holds true to yourself. When you get to know yourself and then take the time to express love for yourself it causes you to appreciate yourself more. That works just like a husband genuinely complimenting his wife - that appreciation never fails to make his wife feel beautiful. Beauty comes with understanding.

Q: What advice would you give for anyone trying to love themselves more?
A: Be patient! And that doesn't mean just wait. Learn about what patience truly is. Have patience enough to be realistic. The same as you don't feel ugly one day and then wake up feeling gorgeous the next, it is a process that takes time. It may not come right away, and that is ok. Visit http://www.jrn.com/kgun9/news/Tucson-Woman-survives-Typhoon-Haiyan--236140441.html for more of Rebekah's account of her experience in the Philippines.

BEAUTY IS ACCEPTING LOVE

Lindsey Bills (soon-to-be Clark)
Age: 20

Lindsey and her fiance Ethan lived 10 years of their lives located just 8 houses down from each other and never formally met until he saw her after completing his church mission. They became best friends instantly and fell in love, never wanting to be apart again. Now they are less than a month away from being sealed in the Mount Timpanogos LDS temple and can't imagine being happier. Although now soon to be married, accepting love has been a journey for Lindsey, and one that she is still learning to make.


Q: How has accepting your fiance's love helped you recognize beauty in yourself?
A: I've had my fair share of insecurities about my body, like every other girl on the planet, but the things I don't like about myself physically are some of the things Ethan loves the most!  I've also been kind of frustrated with my tendency to be emotional and feel empathy for others and even movie characters, but Ethan LOVES my big heart which helps me see the strength I have rather than my weakness. I love myself much more because of it!  

Q: What has helped you see Ethan's opinion as valid and true?
A: One thing I've always loved about Ethan is his respect and genuine love for me. In most of the guys who aren't genuine and truthful, you can see traces of ulterior motives (if you know what I mean) and you know deep down they don't really mean what they say, they have something else on their mind. Ethan's constant respect and sweetness makes me sure that what he is saying is valid and true.

Q: If your fiance wasn't around to help you recognize the beautiful parts of you and your day, do you think you are more capable of recognizing them because of your interactions with him anyway?
A: Definitely! It's nice to be reminded, but eventually it gets embedded into you and you start believing it for your sake, not because of the man in your life.

Q: What advice would you give to others about accepting love from others?
A: Be gracious in accepting compliments and don't point out bad things or negative things about yourself. The more you point them out, the more people (and guys) recognize it. When men or people in general give you a compliment, accept it! What a novel idea right? You'll see a noticeable difference in your self worth when you stop thinking negatively. I know you hear that all your life, but for once DO IT.